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How easy is it to understand someone who is not honest with you? If you suspect that someone is hiding the truth from you and filling you with lies, just consult David J. Lieberman, who is a psychotherapist and has worked for the FBI for 25 years.
Most importantly according to Dr. Lieberman, is “to pay attention, not only to what others say to you, but also to the way in which they speak to you.”
That’s where most of the truth is hidden and that’s the only way “you’ll understand what’s on their mind” before they trick you.
The most classic behaviors that we consider suspicious are when someone is sweating, their eyes are dilated, they are drooling and shaking. However, it does not have to happen. It could be simple stress.
But if they don’t match his usual behavior, that’s saying something. But the most important sign is when he avoids eye contact.
In an exclusive interview on the Write About Now Podcast, he shares the 7 main signs of manipulation and cheating.
Specifically, those who lie:
Notice someone’s initial reaction when you ask them if they have done something.
“An honest answer is sharp and direct,” says Dr. Lieberman, adding that anyone who lies, enriches their stories with excuses like “I’m not that kind of person,” answers anything other than what you asked them, or tends to repeat what they told you earlier.
Regardless, he won’t remember any of it if you ask him after a while to repeat his claims.
- 2. They try to “sell” you the truth
When someone tells the truth, they are not trying to convince you of anything. He just wants you to know the truth. Dr. Lieberman says that “a liar wants to sell you something. He needs you to believe him so even if you believe him (for your own reasons) he will continue to give more explanations and explain what he has already told you, over and over again.”
He does this to ensure that you are completely convinced, regardless of the fact that his technique actually betrays him.
- 3. They are relieved when the conversation ends
Someone who is telling the truth has no problem continuing the dialogue with you. But if he is lying, he does not see the time to avoid the conversations because he has himself created a climate of interrogation.
The relief he feels, according to the expert, is the biggest sign of his guilt because if he told the truth and you didn’t believe him, he would feel annoyed, angry or bitter. No way, relieved.
- 4. They smile numbly
The well-known psychotherapist reports that a person who lies, smiles numbly and this is revealed only on half of his face. The upper part remains unsmiling precisely because he wants to hide his emotions.
He smiles with his mouth closed and his lips tight without making any other movement. A person who speaks the truth, smiles and shines all over his face.
- 5. They pretend to be cool
Inside he is red but in front of you he plays the most comfortable and cool guy. He does this because you blame him and he wants to prove to you that he has not lost his temper and control at all.
He trembles but speaks calmly and with controlled volume. He’s clearly doing it to trick you (once again).
- 6. Their stories are “perfectly” constructed
There is not a single flaw in what he tells you. When someone tells the truth, the story they tell you usually doesn’t make sense.
Otherwise, you hear a “perfect” made-up story without gaps and mistakes. Exactly, like a fairy tale!
- 7. They use impersonal pronouns
“Pronouns reveal when someone wants to distance himself or not from his words.” So what does a liar do? He uses impersonal pronouns to avoid revealing himself.
It’s the exact same method he uses with no eye contact so it’s a good idea to be prepared before he starts telling you his wonderful, fabricated lie in a passive voice.